A Trembled Rose
by shesthewild
Summary: Mulan finds herself questioning her new life and having a hard time dealing with it ...
1. Rough Beginnings

**Disclaimer- i do not own any of the Disney characters..**

this is my first story so- PLEASE take it easy on me, im new at this :)

**Chapter 1**

For months now, Mulan heard them. She heard them whispering, gossiping…murmuring around her. Ever since she and Shang married, she never heard the end of it. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times Shang told her it didn't matter; she couldn't take the criticism of the people in the village.

She sat outside the Li household, thoughtful about the criticism of the villagers. She thought about the matchmaker. She thought about her family. She sat there, contemplating to herself about her new life. She had never felt so different. She felt honored, yet not respected. She felt loved, yet not understood.

All these emotions were filling her head and all she could do was cry. Tears fell from her eyes and didn't stop. Just as she began to cry, it began to drizzle. She got up and walked back into the house, drying her eyes with the sleeve of her dress.

_how could i be so ungrateful? i have a wonderful husband, a gorgeous new home, and proud parents. what more could i ask for? so what if some people don' t like me!_

Of course, this only made her cry more. As she arrived at the kitchen counter, she took out the teapot and put a handful of leaves in it.

_Mulan, calm yourself, Shang will be home any minute...I don't want him thinking that I'm not happy.._

As poured the warm water onto the tea leaves, she heard the door come open then slam.

_Oh no, its Shang! He's home early -_

She walked through the colorless hall into the living room. She looked at the greystone colored couch, then at the walnut lacquer table, and finally at the door. There was no one in the doorway,but, there was sprinkled of water all over the floor.

_...hmm_

She turned around, back to the kitchen and with just one step she heard the door slam again. She turned around and realized it had been the wind that opened the door. She now realized that she had forgotten to close the door when she came back inside.

_the rain is getting pretty bad...i wonder if Shang will be home today.._

She went back to the kitchen and continued to make her green tea. When it was finished, she sat herself at the floor table, crossed her legs, and closed her eyes. The tea felt so warm and comforting in her. The heat helped her relax and let all her worries go. It wasn't until she finished the tea that she opened her eyes. She indeed felt much better after drinking the tea, but, now she was feeling sleepy. She didn't want to fall asleep so early, so she started to do some work around the house. She swept the kitchen floor and vacuumed the rest of the house in about an hour. It was now 8:30, and Shang had still not come home. She wanted to keep herself busy, so she mopped the kitchen floor and washed the dirty laundry. While she was washing Shang's uniforms she heard someone knocking on the door. She wondered who it could be. She knew it was not Shang, because (obviously) Shang had the keys. She walked over to the living room and took a peek through the window to see who it was. It was a messenger. She opened the door and noticed that the messenger was soaking wet and it was not just rain, but a thunderstorm.

"Fa Mulan…" he bowed and Mulan smiled and shook her head in response.

"No need for formalities, Sir, please come in. I can't let you stand outside in the cold."

"Well thank you, Mulan"

"Please sit, I will bring you some tea.." She walked into the kitchen and brought out the tea she had made earlier. It was still warm, she had left it on the stove.

"Thank you, Mulan, you are very kind."

"Your welcome, so, what news do you bring me?" she smiled kindly as she questioned him. He put his tea down on the table and answered.

"Well, as you may have noticed, the rain is pretty bad today. Traveling would be dangerous during these conditions, especially horseback. So, I came to tell you that Li Shang will not be arriving until morning. If anything were to come up tomorrow, he would not be back until nightfall."

"Oh..." _(sigh) no big deal...i guess ill be sleeping alone today, again._

"Well, Lady Li, I must go. But, Li Shang sends his love, and he hopes to see you tomorrow morning." He got up and bowed to Mulan. She bowed in response, and led him to the doorway.

"Thank you very much, Safe travels" she smiled and closed the door.

_I might as well go to bed now.._

**First chapter is DONE ! - sorry its so short...im reaaalllyy bad at beginning stories !**

**i hope you like it, and im looking forward to reading your reviews !**

**R&R**


	2. Abyss in the Flames

**Chapter 2**

Morning came quick for Mulan, but, she did not want to get up. She felt tired and (most of all) lazy. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. She felt a cold chill go down through her spine, so she wrapped herself inot the blanket a little tighter. It was still raining outside, but a gentle, soothing rain. It was very dark for a morning, but, the rain was light. Mulan loved those days. She would wake up and the house is so quiet and peaceful. The only sounds heard is those of the drops of rain hitting the roof and windows. The darkness of the rooms and the white light that comes through the windows. She loved the coldness of rainy days. She loved waking up, seeing Shang by her side, watching her while she slept. She loved the way she felt when she would get chilly and Shang would notice it and bring her closer and tighter. For some strange reason, she felt everything more calm and peaceful on rainy days.

Mulan got up from her comfortable bed and went to sit on the window seat. She watched the rain come down softly. She watched the raindrops when they hit the ground. She was so concentrated in the rain that she hadn't noticed the sound of the door closing gently in the living room. As she sat there at the windowsill, Shang was coming in quietly through the halls.

Shang didn't want to wake Mulan, so he took his boots off once he got in the house. He left them by the door in the entrance and slowly made his way through the halls. He went into the armory and put away all of his armor. He then, quietly, creeped into his and Mulan's room to change his clothes. When he opened the door silently, Mulan was at the window, gazing at the drops of water outside. Shang smiled to himself. He loved the way she looked when she was focused on something. He wanted to surprise her, but, he didn't want to scare her.

_I hope she is in a good mood..._

He walked out of the room and opened the door, slightly loudly. As he hoped she would, she jumped a bit and turned her face to the door.

"Honey, I'm home" He smirked with a smug look on his face.

Mulan disregarded his entrance and smug comment and walked up to him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"How was your day... yesterday?" Shang ignored this question, walking into the closet and taking out a clean training uniform and a towel.

"I am going to bathe, and then you can ask me anything you want." He walked out of the room and Mulan stood there speechless.

_That was odd. He completely avoided my question. Maybe it didn't go well with the Emperor yesterday? .. No, I'm jumping to conclusions. _

Mulan pondered the whole incident in her mind while she made her way to the kitchen to make breakfast. On her way to the kitchen, she noticed Shang's boots near the door. She went to pick them up and clean them. They were all decrepit and soiled. On her way to the laundry room, she realized she hadn't yet checked on her horse or Shang's since she woke up. Normally, that would've been the first thing that crossed her mind. She put on her shoes and trench coat to check on the horses. When she got to the stables, the doors were open and the floors were wet. A sudden displeasure came across her. She felt overworked. Irritably, she brushed her horse (Kahn) and Shang's horse (Jun). When this was finished, she took a broom and began to sweep the water out of the stables. It wasn't much water, so it did not take her long to dry the floor. Before going back into the house, where Shang was awaiting his breakfast, she made sure that the stable doors were securely shut. Back at the house, Mulan found Shang sitting on the desk, already doing his work.

_Does he ever just stop and smell the blossoms?_

Mulan knew how Shang got when he would start his work. Unless there was a good reason, he would never look up. If she even tried to distract him, he would either ignore her or complain about how he had to finish his work. In order to prevent a quarrel, she went straight into the kitchen and made Shang his dumplings and tea. When they were finished, she did not even have to call him, Shang immediately smelled the dumplings and flashed into the kitchen.

"mmm... Dumplings." Shang entered grinning and seated himself down in front of the table.

"Hungry?" Mulan placed the plate and chopsticks in front of him and then the heated tea.

"Very, thank you" Mulan sat on the opposite side of him, drinking her tea before the dumplings.

"So, you never told me how it went yesterday?"

"Oh, it was uh... fine." His facial expression changed, and he stiffened.

_What is wrong with Him?_

"Are you sure, Shang, you seem distraught..."

"Mulan, I'm fine." Mulan insisted that he tell her what was going on. She knew him more than he was aware.

"Shang, please, just tell me what is wrong. You're acting awfully-" He cut her off and almost... scolded her.

"Mulan, if I say I am fine, then I am fine!" He got up, angrily, and stormed off.

Mulan could not believe how difficult Shang was being. She thought she should give him some time to cool down. She was too tired and furious to even bother to go after him. In the meantime, she decided to wash the dishes. When she cleared the table to start washing, she developed an enormous headache. It hurt her immensely, so she decided to make herself some herbal tea instead. She made herself some tea and went to sit on Shang's desk. He had left his paperwork there and she was tempted to read them. Most of them were just inside work and information about the trades. There was one specific sheet that interested Mulan. It was a 3-fold paper that had a stamp of the Emperor's seal on it. She opened it up and read it. From the first line, she already knew why Shang was acting so strange.

_General Li Shang,_

_There has been an unfortunate invasion of Mongols at our Northern Border. I am sure that you know what this means; training and battle. I am sorry to have you find out in a letter, but, I will not be able to meet with you today. I need you to run strategies with your fellow Generals and Captains for the day. You must address General Chou Déshì tonight at sundown after meeting with everyone else. The rain is getting worse, therefore i advise you stay at the palace tonight. I will send my most worthy messengers to your household to inform Lady Li of the sudden change. Tomorrow we will go over your plans and I will notify you about the invasion in detail. Then, and only then, will you be able to go home. I wish you luck today, General. _

_Sincerely, _

_Emperor Shi Huang Di_

After reading this, Mulan was enraged. She asked herself the same question over and over in her head.

_Why would he hide this from me? It hurts me even more that he wouldn't tell me this._

She forgot about the fact that she did not want to fight when the day was just beginning, she did not care about that at the moment. All she wanted to do was go into that room and give him a piece of her mind. She looked at the letter and debated whether to take it with her, or to get it out of him. She decided she was going to have some fun watching how much times he would lie before telling the truth. She put the letter down on the table the way it was, and made her way to their room. She opened the door and peeked in. Shang was laid down on the bed staring at the ceiling. She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge.

"I'm sorry, Shang. I understand that you are the head of this household and when you say no, it's no." She smiled reluctantly and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Shang in return grinned.

"It's okay, Mulan. It is no crime to care."

"Well...If I may ask, how is the Emperor? Did he say anything..."

"He is fine. Say anything about what?"

"About anything, really. Any word from his daughters in Qui Gong... or any wars or battles coming up...?" Mulan found herself terrible at this. She made it incredibly obvious to Shang that she knew something. Fortunately for her, Shang didn't notice it.

"No. None that I am aware of. And I have not heard about his daughters." Mulan noticed that his tone changed as he answered this question.

_I was right. He did lie. But, why? I do not understand..._

"Oh...Well then what did you do yesterday?"

"The usual. I had meetings with the Emperor, and guarded the palace. I ran paperwork with Generals from other kingdoms."

"Oh. Well, so many meetings with the Emperor and still nothing to talk about?" She raised her eyebrow at Shang and suddenly Shang became aware that she was implying something.

"Mulan. What's going on?" Mulan sighed and shook her head.

"You're lying to me, " Her eyes got teared up. She did not want to look so weak, but, she could not help it. She was holding in too much. "I saw the letter on your desk. I should not have been looking through your things, and I am sorry for that. But, you really angered me this time. There i no need to lie about a war, Shang." In that moment, she decided to leave the house and go to the marketplace. She left before Shang could catch up to her.

* * *

**just saying: i know this chapter is SUPER short (its not done yet) , i made a mistake when i published it...i was going to edit it, not publish it :/ but ill finish this chapter as soon as possible so that its balanced :)**

**Starzinmieyez:**

**thank you ! and im hoping to make the story a little...happier lol**

**Canadarulz: **

**thank you soo much ! i am definitly going to take your advice :) and your review put a huge smile on my face ! oh p.s: the 1st chapter is just the beginning so i didnt kno how to start, but, the 2nd will be much longer, its not done yet**

**R&R**


	3. Body in the Petals

**Chapter 3**

At the Marketplace, Mulan looked around for any groceries she was missing at home. To her dismay, she had everything she needed at home. She was basically walking around trying to find something to do. She wondered why Shang had not yet came looking for her. She shoved off the thought of Shang when she noticed everyone whispering. They all gave her looks. Looks of disgust, looks of shock, and looks of pride. A sudden feeling of angst came over her. She felt her face flush a deep red, and she felt sick. She decided to gently head toward the nearby park to sit down and have a chance to take all of it in. When she came to the park, she sat at a bench under a tree (like the bench at the Fa home). She sat down and closed her eyes and several small, cold tears came down her left cheek. She was forced to open her eyes when she heard a familiar voice calling her.

"Mulan? Mulan is that you?"

Mulan looked up and saw her friend, Liu Fen. Liu Fen had been her childhood best friend. They had lost touch after the war. Mulan thought Fen would never talk to her after what she did. She felt like everyone looked down on her. Apparently, her friend was not as proud as she thought.

"Liu Fen," Mulan grinned and wiped the tears from her face. She did not want to greet her old friend by tearing up and having to explain her life tragedies.

"Mulan, Darling! I have not spoken to you since the Matchmaker's test!" Liu Fen hugged her as if it was the last day she would ever see her again. Mulan sighed and hugged her old friend.

"I know, its been too long."

"We must catch up, but, I have to go, i just came over to say _hello_. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? I am sure your parents would allow you to." Mulan looked perplexed suddenly.

_Doesn't she know that I do not live with my parents anymore? Has she not yet heard? _

"Umm, Liu Fen, I..." Mulan was cut off by her, saying that her husband was waiting at home. Her friend walked away after hugging Mulan goodbye. Mulan, again, sat down on the bench and looked up at the sky. The rain had almost cleared but it was still drizzling. She sighed, closed her eyes, and burst into tears. She cried because she did not know what was happening to her. She cried because Shang had lied to her. She cried because she was disliked in the village. She cried because she missed her parents. She cried because she failed at the matchmakers. Her entire life was coming to her mind and she began regretting everything she did. She did not know why she felt this way, all of a sudden. After crying to the point that tears would not come down, she got angry. Angry at the world, at Shang, at her parents, at the Emperor. She honestly thought that she was going crazy. She noticed that she was having very sudden changes in mood. She looked at the ground and heard a pandemonium. It was thunder. She looked up, and the rain came pouring down. It was coming down quick, and within seconds she was soaked.

_Dammit! That's just what I need! (sigh) I'll just go to my parents house, I can not face Shang yet. Especially looking as if I cried my eyes out (which I did)._

Considering Mulan was already drenched, she did not care about going to her parents house. It was two towns away. She walked, and, after noticing that she would go farther with a horse... She figured she should go back home to get Kahn, but, she shoved away the thought. she ran out of the park and just walked the rest of the way. To her, it seemed like hours before she got to her parents. When she got there, she sat at the stairs thinking of what to say when she got inside. She looked up and let the rain fall to her face, yet again. She got up and forced herself to knock on the door. The door opened, it was Fa Li.

"Mulan! Oh, what a surprise!" Fa Li noticed the pale, depressed (and soaked) look on her daughter's face immediately, so she quickly dragged her inside for warmth. Mulan sat down on the couch while her grandmother placed a blanket on her shoulders. Mulan was too cold to even speak. She just hugged her grandmother as a greeting. Apparently, her father was not home. Mulan was disappointed to find out that her father was not home. She had come here to say "Hi" to the family and to warm up and get away from Shang, but, she was looking forward to hear what her father had to say about her and Shang's fight. She settled for her mother's advice.

* * *

After explaining everything to her mother and grandmother, she sat waiting for their response. They took about a whole 45 seconds to say something. She knew what they were going to say, even before they said it.

"Mulan, Marriage is all about sacrifice and humility" Fa Li insisted that the whole thing was Mulan's mistake. On the other hand, her grandmother thought Shang had to respect his wife.

"Mulan, you tell that husband of yours to straighten himself up!" Obviously, neither of these women were helping Mulan. However, she couldn't help but think that her mother had a point. She was about to give in her opinion, when she felt a strong, heavy pressure on her head.

"Mama... I feel sick. My head hurts." Fa Li came over to the couch and put a hand on her daughter's forehead.

"You're burning up, Mulan. Let me go get some herbal tea." Just then, Mulan began to cry, just like she did at the park. But this time, it hurt to cry.

_What is wrong with me? I feel so deceased._

Mulan got up to see her mother in the kitchen. As she was getting to the stove, she grabbed onto the counter to hold herself up. Suddenly, she felt her weight heavier, and heavier. It got heavier until she just whited out, and dropped onto the floor. Fa Li hadn't noticed until she turned around with the tray of tea. She turned around looked down, gasped, and dropped the entire tray.

* * *

**FINALLY done with the 3rd chapter ! **

**took me pretty long...i had writers block for most of it, I hope you like it !**


End file.
